Cheech and Chong - Dave

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Lessons learned from reading Google marijuana news

Lessons that I have learned from reading Google marijuana news

Don't get busted. If you get busted you will have less weed and the cops will have more, which they get for free. You will have less to share with me and your other cool friends. The cops don't share with anyone but their cop friends, and that doesn't do us any good, unless you're a cop. If you're a cop, don't read this, it doesn't apply to you. You can do whatever you want and because you're above the law, it won't matter. For us non-cops, read on.

Lesson one: If you have weed in your vehicle, don't get pulled over. Don't speed. Don't drive too slow. Don't leave your weed in plain view. Don't put your joints on the dash. Don't leave your bong on the seat. Don't leave your package of weed on the back seat. Don't let the cops see you toking, for that matter don't smoke while driving. If you must drive stoned, don't drive too slow, don't run off the road, don't have an accident, don't get pulled over for any reason. Busting us is big business. (See "Prison Song" by System Of A Down.) Every time you see or talk to a cop, they are looking for an excuse to search you and your vehicle, bring out the dogs, and steal your weed.

Lesson two: If you grow weed at your place don't tell anyone that might snitch on you. That means don't tell anyone that you wouldn't trust with your life. That might mean don't tell anyone at all. If you live with someone, don't have a domestic disturbance. If you live with someone that you fight with, don't grow weed. If you must grow weed, and you live with someone that you fight with, get rid of them. Don't have a domestic disturbance. When they call the cops, the cops will steal your weed and smoke it with their cop friends. You can grow weed, or have a contentious partner, but not both.

Don't call the cops to your house because the bike was stolen off the front porch. Don't let your neighbors smell your weed. Don't smoke it out front, don't let them see your weed through the window. Don't throw a pound of fan leaves, seeds, and stems in the fireplace. The cops are looking for an excuse to search you and your place, bring out the dogs, and steal your weed.

Lesson three: If you mail your weed, don't get busted. Wrap the weed tight and triple bag it in plastic. Use brown paper to double wrap it so you can't see the weed. Shape the package of weed so it will fit snugly in a standard USPS mailer. Don't mail it to 'Grandpa Jones', this is suspicious. Try to make your package look, weigh, and feel like something that is commonly mailed, other than weed. Don't get busted. If you get busted that means more weed for the cops who don't share and less weed for us cool people that do.

If you don't get busted, you'll have more weed. There will be more weed for us, and less weed for the cops, who don't share with non-cops. The more weed there is for us, the lower the street prices will be. Don't get busted, I'm tired of cops getting our weed and bogarting it. Don't get busted.

Happy smoking!
Google Marijuana news

No comments:

Post a Comment